"Compassion Over Judgment: What the Church Needs to Know About Addiction"

I struggled with my addiction to pornography for nearly 30 years. I faced challenges with lust, wandering eyes, and perversion. Despite my efforts, including prayer, Christian counselling, and participation in men’s groups, nothing seemed to help. I prayed and read my Bible, yet I still felt stuck.

I knew God had the power to heal and recognise His presence, but something inside me felt wrong. This realisation came after I spent time with a loving, godly older couple who helped me understand my struggle. Prayer revealed that I was exposed to pornography at six years old. Recognising the exposure and the trauma caused allowed me to sever the soul ties and begin healing.

I feel compelled to share my experience because, during my struggle with addiction, I faced significant judgment from Church Pastors, leaders and the community. They often told me that my lack of healing directly resulted from my insufficient faith or unwillingness to let go of my addiction. Rather than receiving support and understanding, I was frowned upon and ridiculed for my struggles. It was disheartening to hear them allege that my healing was entirely in my hands, insinuating that if I truly aspired to be free of my addiction, I would be.

Such feedback is not only unhelpful but also misguided. Church leaders and people who profess they are Christians should be compassionate and offer guidance to people wrestling with addictions instead of contributing to feelings of shame and guilt. I understand God’s healing power deeply, and I have a strong faith; however, I was not fully aware of how the introduction of pornography into my life at a young age had bound me in ways I was struggling to comprehend. My journey has highlighted the need for empathy and support within the Christian communities, especially for those facing similar battles.

I've learned through experience that discernment is essential when praying for others. However, many Christians don’t actively use discernment or spiritual gifts, such as words of knowledge or wisdom. Instead, they pray what they hear and see. I’m careful not to speak ill of anyone, but this problem has roots far below the surface.

In my years of observing churches and individual journeys, I have seen patterns and behaviours showing deeper complexity. This understanding has influenced my perspective on the significance of discernment in prayer. It highlights the need for genuine spiritual support to encompass an understanding of the intricate realities of individual experience. It is important to go beyond the surface and acknowledge that each situation has its layers, experiences, and emotional contexts.